PARENTING THE ‘RIGHT WAY’

BIS - Bosco Information Service Mumbai: BIS # 1035 PARENTING THE ‘RIGHT WAY’

FAME IN THE FAMILY

This concerns my niece, Simran seen here in the picture.

It has been published in the North East England Young Writers book out last month. We didn’t know until Simran came home with a note from her school teacher. Hope that she keeps it up no matter what she does in the future.

SWAN'S LAW

He lay his crystal-blue eyes on the swirling dark lake .
He lifted his magnificent head and soared up into the black of the midnight sky.

The darkness coiled around him and the air grew thick and dry, but the beautiful beast feared nothing as was Royal Swan’s Law.

(By Simran Lajmi – Year 7 – Central Newcastle High School , Newcastle upon Tyne , United Kingdom)

MY PARENTS

Here is a picture of my dad and mum with their youngest daughter - my baby sister Glo. They keep well and are in good spirits...God is great!

HAPPY PARENT'S DAY

It's parents day in our part of the planet. Along with the flowers and the cards to make our parents feel special we had a session to guide them on "Parenting the Right Way"...It ended with this poem which I find so meaningful. So here it is...and before I close...."Happy Parent's Day" to my darling mum and dad and to all the parents I have encountered in my life...We are so proud of all that you guys are doing to make our world the dwelling place of lovely children...

IF I HAD MY CHILD TO RAISE AGAIN...

If I had my child to raise over again I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.

I'd finger paint more and point fingers less.

I would do less correcting and more connecting.

I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

I would care to know less and know to care more I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.

I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.

I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

I'd do more hugging and less tugging.

I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often.

I would be firm less often and affirm much more.

I'd model less about the love of power, And more about the power of love.

Diane Looman "Full esteem ahead"

STRESS REDUCTION

I chanced upon this little piece on a webpage and I knew I had to share it with others...May all of us learn to cope with stress and use it to bring forth our best potentialities...

QUICK STRESS REDUCTION TECHNIQUES

(From http://www.bioteams.com/2007/02/09/workplace_stress_reduction.html)

If you are stressed, do one or all of these things, in whatever order that takes your fancy. These ideas can also be adapted for team development exercises. The key to de-stressing in the moment is getting away from or removing yourself from the stressor. Developing new habits which regularly remove you and distract you from stressors and stressful situations and pressures is essentially how to manage stress on a more permanent basis. In this modern world it is difficult if not impossible to change stressful situations. What we can do however is change and reduce our exposure to those stressful situations.
These stress reduction ideas and techniques are based on that simple principle. These tips won't change the situation causing the stress, but they will, more importantly, enable you to change your reaction and relationship to the stressful situations.
And in keeping with the tone of this stress tips section, and since colour is regarded by many as a factor in affecting mood, the calming shade of green is used for the headings...

STRESS REDUCTION IDEA 1 - HUMOUR
Humour is one of the greatest and quickest devices for reducing stress. Humour works because laughter produces helpful chemicals in the brain. Humour also gets your brain thinking and working in a different way - it distracts you from having a stressed mindset. Distraction is a simple effective de-stressor - it takes your thoughts away from the stress, and thereby diffuses the stressful feelings.
Therefore most people will feel quite different and notice a change in mindset after laughing and being distracted by something humorous.
Go read the funny family fortunes answers. Or try the funny letters to the council. Even if you've seen them a hundred times before. As you start to smile and chuckle the stress begins to dissipate.
If this material fails to make you laugh then find something which does.
Keep taking the laughter medicine until you feel suitably relaxed and re-charged.

STRESS REDUCTION IDEA 2 - BRISK WALK AND SELF-TALK

Go for a short quick really brisk walk outside. Yes, actually leave the building. Change your environment. Breathe in some fresh air and smell the atmosphere... Trees, rain, flowers, traffic fumes - doesn't matter - stimulate your senses with new things.
On your way out keep saying to yourself out loud (and to anyone else you see, in that daft way people say "Elvis has left the building.."): "(your name) is leaving the building.. "
And when you are outside and free say: "(your name) has left the building.. "
You can extend the exercise by going to a park and jogging a little.
Or do a few star-jumps - something energetic to get your body moving and relaxing.
Or stroke a dog, or pick up some litter, or kick a kid's football.
You can of course use other mantras or chants, depending on what you want to do and how far you want to get away from the stress causes, for example: "(your name) is doing star-jumps/picking up litter/looking for a small non-threatening dog.." or "(your name) is leaving/has left the industrial park/district/city/company/country.." etc, etc.
Of course this is daft, but the daftness reduces the stress by removing you from the stress in mind and body.
Doing something daft and physical - and reinforcing it with some daft chanting - opens up the world again.

STRESS REDUCTION IDEA 3 - REHYDRATE
Go get a big cup or a bottle of water. Here's why...
Most of us fail to drink enough water - that's water - not tea, coffee, coke, 'sports' drinks, Red Bull or fruit juice...All of your organs, including your brain, are strongly dependent on water to function properly. It's how we are built.If you starve your body of water you will function below your best - and you will get stressed. Physically and mentally.Offices and workplaces commonly have a very dry atmosphere due to air conditioning, etc., which increases people's susceptibility to de-hydration.This is why you must keep your body properly hydrated by regularly drinking water (most people need 4-8 glasses of water a day). You will drink more water if you keep some on your desk at all times - it's human nature to drink it if it's there - so go get some now.When you drink water you need to pee. This gives you a bit of a break and a bit of exercise now and then, which also reduces stress.When you pee you can see if your body is properly hydrated (your pee will be clear or near clear - if it's yellow you are not taking enough water).This will also prompt some amusing discussion and chuckling with your colleagues ("Nature calls - I'm off to the bog again...") which is also good for reducing stress.You do not need to buy expensive mineral water. Tap water is fine.If you do not like the taste of tap water it's probably because of the chlorine (aquarium fish don't like it either), however the chlorine dissipates quite naturally after a few hours - even through a plastic bottle - so keep some ordinary tap water in the fridge for 2-3 hours and try it then. If you want to be really exotic add a slice of lemon or lime. Kiwi and sharon fruit are nice too...
So now you are fully watered and guffawing and exercised up to the max, read on for ideas for how to prevent stress as well as reduce and manage it.

STRESS REDUCTION IDEA 4 - CATNAP OR POWERNAP

(Not so easy but still perfectly possible) Take a quick nap. It is nature's way of recharging and re-energising.
A quick 10-30 minutes' sleep is very helpful to reduce stress. It's obviously essential if you are driving while tired, but a quick sleep is a powerful de-stressor too.
A lunchtime snooze is very practical for home-workers - it just requires the realisation that doing so is acceptable and beneficial (when we are conditioned unfortunately to think that sleeping during the day is lazy, rather than healthy).
At some stage conventional Western industry will 'wake up' to the realisation that many people derive enormous benefit from a midday nap. Sounds ridiculous? Tell that to the many millions in the Mediterranean countries who thrive on a mid-day siesta.
People in the Mediterranean and Central Americas take a siesta every working day, and this is almost certainly related to longer life expectancy and lower levels of heart disease.
See the more detailed evidence and reasoning in the sleep and rest section below.
If your work situation is not quite ready to tolerate the concept of a daytime nap then practise a short session of self-hypnosis, combined with deep breathing, which you can do at your desk, or even in the loo. It works wonders.
See the self-hypnosis and relaxation page.
In the summer of course you can go to the nearest park and try it alfresco (that's from the Italian incidentally, al fresco, meaning in the fresh air - which is another good thing for stress reduction).

STRESS REDUCTION IDEA 5 - MAKE A CUPPA
Any tea will do, but a flavoured cup of tea is even better. Experiment with different natural flavourings using herbs and spices and fruit. Fresh mint is wonderful, and excellent for the digestive system. Nettles are fantastic and contain natural relaxants. Orange zest is super (use one of those nifty little zester gadgets). Ginger root is brilliant. Many herbs, spices, fruits and edible plants make great flavoured tea, and many herbs and spices have real therapeutic properties.
Use a 'base' of green tea leaves - about half a spoonful per serving - plus the natural flavouring(s) of your choice, and freshly boiled water. Be bold - use lots of leaves - experiment until you find a blend that you really enjoy. Sugar or honey bring out the taste. Best without milk, but milk is fine if you prefer it.
Making the tea and preparing the ingredients take your mind off your problems, and then smelling and drinking the tea also relaxes you. There is something wonderful about natural plants and fruits which you can't buy in a packet. Use a tea-pot or cafetiere, or if you are happy with a bit of foliage in your drink actually brew it in a big mug or heatproof tumbler.
Fresh mint and ginger tea recipe:
Put all this into a teapot or cafetiere and add boiling water for 2-3 cups. Allow to brew for a minute or two, stir and serve. (This is enough for 2-3 mug-sized servings):
1-1½ heaped teaspoons of green tea leaves 2-4 sprigs of fresh mint (a very generous handful of leaves with or without the stems - more than you might imagine)3-6 zest scrapes of an orange half a teaspoon of chopped ginger root2-4 teaspoons of sugar or 1-2 teaspoons of honey - more or less to taste
Alter the amounts to your own taste. The recipe also works very well without the orange and ginger, which is effectively the mint tea drink that is hugely popular in Morocco and other parts of North Africa. Dried mint can be substituted for fresh mint. Experiment. The Moroccan tradition is to use small glass tumblers, and somehow seeing the fine colour of the tea adds to the experience.

STRESS REDUCTION IDEA 6 - CRYING
Not much is known about the physiology of crying and tears, although many find that crying - weeping proper tears - has a powerful helpful effect on stress levels. Whatever the science behind crying, a good bout of sobbing and weeping does seem to release tension and stress for many people.
Of course how and where you choose to submit to this most basic of emotional impulses is up to you. The middle of the boardroom during an important presentation to a top client is probably not a great idea, but there are more private situations and you should feel free to try it from time to time if the urge takes you.
It is a shame that attitudes towards crying and tears prevent many people from crying, and it's a sad reflection on our unforgiving society that some people who might benefit from a good cry feel that they shouldn't do it ever - even in complete privacy. Unfortunately most of us - especially boys - are told as children that crying is bad or shameful or childish, which of course is utter nonsense. Arguably only the bravest cry unashamedly - the rest of us would rather suffer than appear weak, which is daft, but nevertheless real.
Whatever, shedding a few tears can be a very good thing now and then, and if you've yet to discover its benefits then give it a try. You might be surprised.

PEOPLE MOST AT RISK FROM STRESS
In one US study as many as 40% of workers described their jobs as very stressful. While not a scientific gauge and not measuring serious stress health problems, this gives some indication as to how prevalent work-related stress is. As regards official health records, in the UK, the nursing and teaching occupations are most affected by work-related stress, with 2% of workers at any one time suffering from work-related stress, depression and anxiety. (The figure for teachers rises to 4% when including physical conditions relating to stress.) Care workers, managers and professionals are the next highest affected occupations, with over 1% suffering from serious work-related stress at any one time. UK HSE work-related stress statistics suggest that work-related stress affects men and women in equal numbers, and that people in the 45-retirement age suffer more than younger people. More socially-based USA research suggests that the following American social groups are more prone to stress (this therefore not limited to work-related stress): young adults, women, working mothers, less educated people, divorced or widowed people, the unemployed, isolated people, people without health insurance, city dwellers. Combined with the factors affecting stress susceptibility (detailed below), it's not difficult to see that virtually no-one is immune from stress. An American poll found that 89% of respondents had experienced serious stress at some point in their lives. The threat from stress is perceived so strongly in Japan that the Japanese even have a word for sudden death due to overwork, 'karoushi'.

WELCOME TO OUR HOME

On the left is our entrance gate...as you will notice our campus has been recently paved...the place looks neat, tidy and clean...













This is our community chapel...every morning and evening we gather here to praise and thank the Lord...we receive food for our souls...











This here is our dining hall - where we get food for our bodies...

Well here is a view of our guest rooms...they have been done up recently...








This is a view of our lush green sports ground...it is the cynosure of all eyes. Here you can see some of our boys at play...










Here is our reading room and television...here we relax as we receive food for our minds and our eyes...

WHERE I LIVE...

I realized that my digicam is not being used and so decided to take some pictures of my surroundings....here they come...

Here on the right is our residence - offices, prayer hall, rooms, dining hall...



Down below to the left is the front seen transversely. The view is towards the school which is the adjacent building and is pictured last.....










The school building can be viewed here...It has about 1,200 students...

For more about our community check out our province website on Don Bosco Nashik...

That's it for now - more pics later...

TWO INTERESTING VISITS

This is a tale that had to be told...It describes an outing we had on 7th July 2008...Here goes... The venue chosen was Gargoti – the mineral museum - and Swami Shilananda’s ashram in Sinnar.

The Gargoti mineral museum is about 40 kms from the city of Nashik. While the outside of the building is rather nondescript once one steps in it is a whole new world. The owner - Mr. K.C. Pandey has built up a collection of stones from Maharashtra and other places that decries belief. One comes face to face with zeolite rocks having blue or yellow or green or red formations within all the result of volcanic activity and subsequent cooling. The museum also has a moon rock and one from Mars, but the formations that have taken place in the rocks on display over the years truly amazes.

At many times during our tour we just felt we had to stop and take all that we had seen in before moving forward. They also have some rocks with dinosaur fossils and others dating to the times before man appeared on planet earth. It took us about an hour to move through the exhibits - but we could have taken longer and still not had enough.

After that trip we went on to visit the famous Spanish Jesuit who is 84 years old and lives in an ashram for the last 40 years. Swami Shilananda has been living as a sadhu all alone and visiting the villages around to take the message of Jesus to people. He has mastered the kirtan form of singing and the Marathi language. Going around the area he sing kirtans of Jesus to the people – fearlessly proclaiming Jesus’ message. While he has not a single conversion to his name, he certainly has done a lot to spread the message of Jesus which I think is more important than how many people have accepted baptism. We spent about an hour with him listening to his story and his idea of mission work.

One can see that he is a truly holy man - filled with God and with no rancour towards others. The latter could be justified when one considers that he has not been always understood by his superiors. But he continues in the mission he feels God is calling him to.

After those two intense encounters we went over to a hotel room that we had booked to have a grand dinner. It was time to unwind and relax. We returned home by 9:30 pm and all of us were unanimous in feeling that we had spent a truly enriching day with food for our eyes, our body and souls.