Thursday, September 17, 2009


I was sent this story some time ago taken from Shiv Khera's bestseller You Can Win, and I shared it with the community today.

When I was in Toronto, I heard a story of two brothers. One was a drug addict and a drunk who frequently beat up his family. The other one was a very successful businessman who was respected in society and had a wonderful family.

Some people wanted to find out why two brothers from the same parents, brought up in the same environment, could be so different. The first one was asked, "How come you do what you do? You are a drug addict, a drunk, and you beat your family. What motivates you?" He said, "My father." They asked, "What about your father?" The reply was, "My father was a drug addict, a drunk and he beat his family. What do you expect me to be? That is what I am."

They went to the brother who was doing everything right and asked him the same question. "How come you are doing everything right? What is your source of motivation?" And guess what he said? "My father. When I was a little boy, I used to see my dad drunk and doing all the wrong things. I made up my mind that that is not what I wanted to be."

Both were deriving their strength and motivation from the same source, but one was using it positively and the other negatively.

(Shiv Khera, You Can Win, New Delhi: MacMillan India Ltd., 1998, 102-103)

In life we meet all kinds of people, some appreciate and help us grow modeling good values. Others put us down, cause us suffering, and are poor role models. What we become is not about them but about us. We can draw good from both types of people deciding the kind of people we want to become. The choice is ours and we cannot blame others for what we make of our lives.

1 comment:

Roymario said...

Hello Matt In real life i have come across exactly the same scenario two brothers taking inspiration from the same father one a no good alcoholic vagabond and the other a respected teetotaler who is a manager in a company. What shocks me now is that after both brother got married the no good alcoholic vagabond's wife has actually changed the vagabond into becoming a much better guy who is now doing well and getting accepted in society. Where as the Teetotaler manager now cannot accept the stress and status he has achieved that now he has started drinking off-course to a very small extent but nevertheless he has. What i feel is it is not the influence that others have on you that makes one good or worse but rather you own outlook to life that actually controls how you want to LIVE. ......ny ways nice reading your updated blog.....take care have fun Byeeee.....Roymario (